20ish years ago around this time in February, at the age of 20, I went back to Newfoundland after leaving when I was 4.  This was also the first time my Dad had seen me, and that I had seen Dad since his last visit to Ontario when I was 12 years old (for complicated reasons).

My step-mother picked me up from the airport as Dad wasn’t feeling well, but he got up when I arrived and he gave me the biggest hug he could, reaching up at my 6ft3 frame.

I went back one more time to Newfoundland during August 1995, 6 months later, on my way out to England to study in Norwich.  Dad insisted on paying for my flights out and back, with the provision that I stop in St. John’s on the way out.    It was the last time I would see him as he passed away Christmas Eve 1995.  It wouldn’t be until 1998 that I would go back out to St, John’s to see my step mother.

I felt so awkward during that trip, but we made the best of the time together.  I also had a bad cold, probably a bit worse than the one I have now.

So much has happened and changed in those 20 years.  Graduating, getting my first car, getting married, getting jobs, losing jobs, travelling, the ups and downs of life.

I wouldn’t have changed the experience for anything.

I’ve often struggled with having to figure life out for myself without having that father figure.  That doesn’t mean the efforts of my grandfather and uncle are not going unrecognized – they did the best they could with the energy they had (my grandfather), and with their own families they were bringing up (my uncle).  What doesn’t kill us does make us stronger.

I’m also thankful to those who have been able to step up and help out in that mentorship role since, and I’ve been glad of the opportunities where I’ve had a chance to share my own wisdom as well.

So today’s magic number is 263.  That’s 54lbs down since October, and that’s 6 lbs more than what I lost under Weight Watchers a few years ago.  30ish more pounds until goal.

I have to admit, i’ve been cheating a bit with this diet.  It started with my last trip to Portland where I got fed up with eating the same thing over and over again, and I decided to have the hotel specialty for breakfast – Eggs Benedict.  Over the past two weeks ago I had the equivalent to

• 1 piece of Pizza Pizza, Pizza;
• regular cheese in Tampa with a number of meals;
• rice with Teriyaki and yes I had the sauce.
• dim sum with the Teriyaki meal.

I’ve always gotten back on plan when I’ve done this with the exception of the cheese in Tampa.

I’ve always lost between 4.5 and 5 lbs on the plan.  I have no plans on slowing down at this point, but I am at a point where I feel I need to eat more towards regular foods so that when I hit goal, I’m not suddenly switching and gaining all that hard earned weight loss back like I did with WW.  I also need to learn to balance it so I’m not reverting back to old behaviours.

For example, I bought some low-carb rye bread made with flax.  I’m allowed two pieces per day.  Great!  I’m nervous about gaining weight on the stuff, but looking at the labels, it’s all on plan.

We’re going to be eating more protein, relative to where we were at in October. That’s been a major shift for Scott and me.

So we’ll see.  While I maintain my weight, I’m planning on continuing my regular weigh ins, and may even get us a bathroom scale.

But that’s not for 30ish pounds.